Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
