We need to rekindle our bromance
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
