Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
