Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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