Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
