oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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