I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
