I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do vagina's smell?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
