hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
