i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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