First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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