I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
