There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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