I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize