just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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