In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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