Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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