help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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