do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
