Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
