Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
