? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
