i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize