I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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