When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
