bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
