Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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