Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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