I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
