# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize