Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
