Where is the hickey?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
