we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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