What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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