How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
