Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
