i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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