THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
