You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
