Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
