I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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