I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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