I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
