just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
