Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize