so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
