Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
