This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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