I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
