No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
soo... how was my night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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