seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
