I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Text me some of your sweat
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
