I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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