He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
