I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
