I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
