we're blogging at a bar
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
