Acid is not a monday night drug
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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